My first poem after coming out of denial about being transgender. The most difficult thing I’ve ever had to face … the compelling need to acknowledge my real self, and the start of my frightening journey to an authentic life, free from pretending to be male.
My long hair, it comforts me,
Though others think it strange.
It is a way I soothe myself,
While I walk through my pain.
Life is a struggle,
Which no one ever sees,
Living an existence,
Where I’m not free to be me.
Because I feel driven to please all others,
I feel desperately afraid,
That someone will see through me,
And know it’s all just a charade.
I need to be me,
Yet it hurts each time I try,
And I don’t know who I am,
Because my life has been a lie.